“Was that your husband, dear?” The elderly lady with a tight bubble perm pointed to a bloody brain being munched by a lone female zombie.
The zombie nodded, vacantly.
“Men, eh?” The lady offered.
“Errrrk” The zombie replied.
Just your typical zombie-human exchange, as witnessed at Toronto’s tenth annual zombie walk, which saw thousands of people moaning, groaning and lurching their way around the city centre on Saturday afternoon.
There were zombie Mario brothers, teletubbies, headless brides, Lego men, bakers and gimps. Zombie babies. And – my personal favourite – zombie dogs.
They were a noisy but surprisingly musical rabble. A zombie Elvis strummed his guitar, a mariachi band sang a series of laconic ballads and a dead-eyed ghoul sparked a spontaneous rendition of the 1994 Cranberries hit (you guessed it) “Zombie”.
From time to time, a zombie would lunge at an unsuspecting onlooker, provoking squeals from the victims – mainly teenage girls.
It was all very entertaining, until a woman stood in front of me and spat (from her MOUTH) fake blood all over her partner – and all over my coat. Time to leave.
Anyway, we had a film to catch: To be precise, two films, both playing at the Bloor Hot Docs Cinema as part of the After Dark Film Festival, with a $2 discount for zombies.
It wasn’t your standard Saturday night at the movies, as you might expect from a ticket stubb saying: “We Ate the Children Last will proceed Rec3”.
For a start, not every screening starts with a zombie contest in which Beetlejuice and a zombie James Dean compete on stage to say the word “brains” in their best Queen’s English.
Adding to the unusual ambiance, a grim cacophony of zombie cries erupted eerily around us as the lights dimmed.
And there’s nothing quite like averting your eyes from the sight of someone’s head being chain-sawed in two on screen, only to see a zombie on your right creasing his sides in laughter.
In all, a surreal afternoon/evening. My only regret was not dressing up, so I’ve been planning my outfit in advance for next year. Sarah Palin would be good, but I also like my hubbie’s suggestion of a Harry Potter & Hermione double act…Any suggestions?